Elijah Fell Blog

Imagine that you’ve a little kid – a girl or boy, but you’re only fifteen years old. How are you going to feel about this kid? There’s a good probability that you’ll feel this kid is a burden, restricting your liberty. You will probably feel the kid is too demanding, requiring too much from you.You might need to go out and have a great time and not be tied down to this kid. Is this how you’re feeling about your own inner kid – your own feelings and needs? Does it feel tiring to take loving care of you? Are you feeling like your own feelings and desires are just too much to be forced to look after? Are you feeling like looking after yourself is just hard? Do you suspect it is self-centered to take loving care of yourself? Do you wish somebody else would come along and meet your emotional wants to feel loved, valued, and deserving? If this is how you are feeling, it is really because you’ve not yet done the inner work of developing a loving adult part of you – part of you that is connected with a religious source of love, knowledge, strength, steering and comfort. It’s your teen self, who is charge, and this part of you not only will not need the job of looking after you, it’s not adequate to deal with the job. This is what creates love dependence. You’ve a tiny child within you – your feeling self – who need a lot of love, attention, comfort, valuing, validating, connection and compassion. When you have no need to give this to oneself because you are feeling it is too hard, you are feeling too insufficient, you believe it is thoughtless, or you think it’s somebody else’s job to meet these wants then you’re deserting yourself. If you suspect that your best feelings come from somebody else loving you rather than you loving you, then you’re deserting yourself. And when you desert yourself, that tiny kid in you is left to get the love he or she wants some place else.When you abandon yourself because you haven’t learned the simple way to take loving care of yourself or because you do not need the responsibility of your own feelings and wishes that’s when you become needy of others love and attention. You learn many ways of trying hard to get the love, attention and compassion you need. Think for a second about what you do to get love, connection, attention, approval or compassion from others. Do you try and be perfect – looking right, announcing the right thing, being a high achiever? Do you try and be lovable or funny? When you have deserted yourself and are love-addicted, you’ll have developed many ways of making an attempt to have command over getting the love you want.That little kid in you is frantic to be loved. The emptiness of the self-abandonment and the ensuing hankering for love leads you to behave in the methods that finish up pushing others away. It’s a losing battle. It’ll NEVER WORK. You’ll never get the love you want by trying hard to get others to give to you what only you can give to one.If you’ve an interest in learning the best way to give yourself the love you have always hankered after and break your love-addiction, you can start by downloading our free Inner Bonding course. This 6-step course will start to give you the tools you want to move out of love-addiction and into love.

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